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IN looking over this col- 
lection of anecdotes 
concerning the sayings 
and doings of the 
Mirthful Knights, the 
author wishes to explain that they 
are funny. This is because a 
Knight is, or was, a funny thing 
anyway. You may not be able to 
realize how funny the anecdotes 
are until you think how funny a 
Knight is — or was, and when you 
do, you'll think how funny it is you 
did*nt think it was funny before. 

This little work is designed to 
display to those familiar with King 
Arthur and the bunch of scrappers 
that surrounded him the awful 
diflSiculties and the unrecorded 
ventures and quests of a number 
of these gentlemen whose names 
heretofore have been suppressed 
by political influence and knightly 
jealousies and such-like things, 
that justice may be done them and 
that history may be made complete. 

Author. 





IR OOFTY GOOF, of 

whom you Ve heard — 

that famed and noble 

knight — 

Went forth one day some mutt to 

slay, to keep his hand in right, 

And as his charger trod the *pil^e 

that from his castle led, 
Behold, upon a stump there sat a 
maid with drooping head. 



Fair maid," *quoth he, "thy wrongs 

are mine; why sittest thou with 

weeps? 
Tell me, prithee, who caused those 

tears; I'll fix his clock for keeps." 
"Alas Sir," sighed the maiden fair, 

"no man hath caused me hurt; 
i sat me down and can't get up in 

this new hobble skirt." 

"Canst walk?" the knight asked, as 

with speed from off his steed 

he dumb. 
"Alas, I fear me, not," said she, 

"because my . . . toes are 

numb." 




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Wherefore the knight clanked to 

her side, and hauled her by 

the hand; 
But all in vain, the fact was plain 

the lady could not stand. 
But fell about and skinned her 

nose; then sat with sudden 

thump 
That caused the faithful steed to 

snort, and in his terror jump. 

Sir Oofty Goof he scratched his 

ear; "Odzooks, a way I see," 
Quoth he, "I'll drag you to yon grove, 

and prop you gainst a tree. 
I go, fair maid, but I return; HI 

bring the ambulance; 
Fear not, fair one, I'll rush it here — 

or fetch a pair of pants. 
And on the road his charger's 

hoofs made thuds of fearful 

speed. 
As spurred the knight in eager 

haste to do a knightly deed 



ACK in the Gauntstark 
hills there stood a cas- 
tle old and gray, 
Built like a battercake 
because they liked 'em 
built that way, 
And in it dwelt old Hangerfrost, 

a Baron shy on looks 
But just the sort oi feudal lord you 
read about in books 





A score or more of able knights 

chock full of life and fignt 
Lived on old Baron Hangerfrost^ 

and nearly every night 
You'd hear them talk of pots and 

straights amid the nighttime's 

hush, 
And sometimes speak of houses 

full, or maybe, of a flush. 



The supposition was, of course, 

that if some neighbor rose 
And wilfully, maliciously trod on 

the Baron's toes. 
These knights would slam their 

armor on, rejoiced to do or 

dare 
And lug the fool disturbers out and 

bury *em somewhere. 



But all the time they ate and drank 
all that their skins could hold, 

And every week old Hangerfrost 
must pay 'em off in gold. 






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And so the old maxi tired of it; the 

game was not a joke; 
Their salaries and table board 

were keeping him flat broke. 

He called his knights and to them 

spake. "Sir Rattlebones, with 

speed" 
Quoth he, "go chase thyself, it 

were a good and knightly 

deed." 
"And you, Sir Wishywash 5 pray. 

thy weekly stipend earn 
By hieing to the dairy barn to help 

*em with the churn. 
To thee, Sir Mortimer de Guff in 

confidence I look 
To earn thy salt and cigarettes by 

helping out the cook." 

All down the line he made his 

way, and when he reached 

the last 
A long parade of clanking forms 

across the drawbridge passed 
With angry fists and muttered 

oaths and faces sternly white 
To jangle out into the world and 

vanish from his sight. 

And on the pancake battlement in 

his contentment deep 
The Baron gazed into the night 

where shadows 'gan to creep. 
**They swiped the spoons, I guess" 

he said, "but gee, I got off 

cheap." 




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I HE knights, with features 
set and stern, rose in 
the banquet hall; 
Against gold-threaded tapestries 
their shields hung on the wall; 
A task for them their lord had set 
that might have daunted 
some — 
The Lady Geraldine, some way, 
had lost her chewing gum. 

Across the board their swords 
struck fire, and each with 
noble air 

Declared he'd find that gum or 
bust, and swore a mighty 
swear 

He'd neither bathe nor brush his 
teeth nor turn his cuffs around 

Until the quest had brought suc- 
cess — the ladys gum be 
found. 

Then trusty sqires with Polishine 
their masters* pants made 
bright; 

Their plumes becurled with curling 



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tongs were pleasing to the 

sight. 
And to the north and east and west 

and south in armor dressed 
Some twenty knights with twenty 

squires rode on the noble 

quest. 

But one was left; Sir Muckamuck; 

he did not leave his seat» 
But as they swore terrific swears 

continued, calm, to eat. 
And on him turned his feudal lord, 

his lady by his side — 
"Sirrah!" quoth he, "why sit you 

there while others questing 

ride 
To find your lady's chewing gum? 

A caitiff knight, I trow!" 
"Why fore," the knight asked 

"should I seek? Fm sittin' on 

it now." 



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IIR ANSELAM DE 
TURNVEREIN of 
Good King Arthur's 
court, 
Sat up in bed and called 
his squire. "Get thou a move 
on, Sport," 
Quoth he; "A day hath just began 
— a day that we must spend 
Ere we can sleep again and know 
that it hath reached its end." 

"True, Sire," the faithful squire re- 
plied, and shook a shirt of 
mail; 

"A day of deeds, and knightly dope 
knows no sich word as fail.*' 



Behold out in the courtyard dim 

the goodly charger stands; 
Upon his back with clashing leap 

the good knight swiftly lands; 
And out upon the high-road gray 

he rides serene and strong. 
Prepared to meet adventure or 

whatever comes along. 

An aged dame sat on a stump — 

a crone, devoid of grace 
Perceiving which the good knight 

growled and groaned and 

made a face. 
But just behind him rode his squire, 

a young apprentice knight, 
And it was up to him to see the 

job was handled right. 



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"What ails thee?" asked Sir Turn- 

verein; "Why sittest thou 

apart? 
What worries, Ma, be on thy chest, 

and fill thy withered heart?" 
"Alas," quoth she, "grim trouble 

youth and feeble age connects, 
Some evils come and soaked me, 

for I have gone and lost my 

specs." 

"Where lost thou them?" the knight 

inquired, "oh, dame of somber 

face; 
I don't care when you lost *em, but 

I'll have to know the place.*' 
And then he thought a happy think, 

a thought of glad surprise — 
"Accept my knightly help," he cried; 

"you go and advertise." 
And springing on his gallant steed, 

the knight turned to his squire 
And asked: "Now what you think 

of that?" Quoth he, "You Ve 

fixed it. Sire: 
She'll advertise, and though she'll 

have the paper's charge to pay, 
'Twill keep her busy, and she don't 

need glasses, any way. 



"King Arthur couldn't kick on that, 
the knight said merrily; 

"He said to be a helpful knight— 
a helpful knight; that's me. 






ITHIN his castle sat a 
knight and gnawed his 
fingernails; 
His eyes were small, his 
nose was large, his ears stood 
out like sails. 
"Oddzooks!" quoth he, "sure as 
my name is Algernon de Beak, 
ril sit right here where all is calm, 
nor go out for a week. 

In all my life I never saw the like 

of the distress; 
They stop me on the street for help, 

expecting I'll say yes, 
And blame it all, I've struck some 

jobs from which a knight 

should run. 
But like a chump I butt right in and 

tackle every one. 

I met a woman yesterday— it may 

be I was tricked — - 
She wanted more than anything to 

have her husband licked; 
And day before, another came and 

hard luck stories told, 




Desiring me to hold her kid and 
lend a Httle gold. 

What do they think Tm made of, 

huh? Why, one hit me today 
To come out to her house and drive 

a drunken cook away. 
Fd like to help *em all, of course; 

I'm chivalrous all right, 
But seems to me I'd rather be a 

farmer than a knight. 
A farmer's work is never done, if 

that old saw be true. 
But what do people know about the 

work a knight must do?" 








LD BUMBLERIGG, 

the Armorer, was 
working in his shop; 
The ancient oak trees 
shivered when he let his ham- 
mer drop; 
The sparks were yeilow, flashing 
streaks that glimmered as they 

lit. 

For Bumblerigg the Armorer was 
earnest when he hit. 

Then came a young and callow 

Knight, and called him to the 

door, 
And many a full, round knightly 

oath in savage tones he swore. 
"These pants of mail," he said, 

"don't fit; Great Arthur, how 

they pinch! 
You made these pants, doggone it, 

now you let 'em out an inch." 

The armorer he heaved a sigh; 

such doings made him sore, 
"Go take em off at once," he 

growled, "and get behind the 

door. 
No man shall say my work is poor; 

ril fix 'em right away. 
And there will be no further charge 

— no second bill to pay." 



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Then in the fire he threw those 
pants, and heated them bright 
red; 

He whirled his mighty hammer 
far above his sooty head, 

And from behind the door the 
knight yelled at his awful state, 

For seven seconds later they were 
flatter than a plate. 

"Go take your pants," the old man 
said; "I guess they'll fit you now; 

YouVe built much like a paper 
knife; I should have known, I 
vow. 

And with a sigh of utter joy he let 
his hammer drop, 

Threw off his apron, washed his 
hands, and straightway left his 
shop. 



"Why rides that knight so fast?" 
asked some, awakened in the 
town. 

When night had shut the daylight 
out and pulled her curtain 
down. 

"No telling," some one said; "they 
ride like people had no rights; 

They ought to lock *em up in 
jail — they make me tired, those 
knights." 



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IR MONTMORENCY 

DUB BALONG one 

day chanced to espy 

A maiden with a basket 

and some bundles, passing by, 

And with his knightly soul aflame 

and blessings on his luck 
He stopped her and inquired if he 
might help her with the truck. 

**rm going shopping," said the maid; 

"I fear me much, Sir Knight, 
I'll have me packages galore, some 

of them scarcely light." 
But bravely did the knight protest 

that he must go along. 
Because his soul was wiHing and 

his knightly arm was strong. 

And when night fell upon the town 

and shadows dimmed the 

street. 
Behind the lady dragged the knight 

with slow discouraged feet. 
And in his arms were many things 

— a ham, three loaves of 

bread. 



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A baby chair, two curtain poles, a 

little folding bed, 
A hat box and a sack of ilour, a 

can of kerosene, 
A clothes line and some poultry 

wire, an Oriental screen — 

And when the lady disappeared he 

stood without her door, 
His hand upraised, and as he stood 

a solemn oath he swore — 
No matter be she white or black, 

or plain or passing fair. 
If she have brown or red or green 

or white or purple hair, 
He*d never lug a woman's things, 

but let her go her way. 
No matter what the bunch might 

think, or knightly rules might 

say 
For never did a knightly oath 

sworn on the bended knees 
Embrace, or even contemplate such 

awful jobs as these 



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HE NIGHT was dark 
and growing old, when 
in her chamber dim 
The fair Matildalina, she 
by custom termed The Slim, 
Spake to the Lady Antifat, who 

shared her tower room 
Also her rats and chewing gum; 
her hairpins and perfume. 

"Oh dear," she sighed; "oh woe Is 

is me. Fm sick as anything. 
For I could only eat today a single 

pigeon wing. 
Because the knights stared at me 

so it curbed my appetite — 
Why CANT they let us eat 

enough in presence of a 

knight?" 

Go easy, dear," her roommate said, 

"Fli sneak down in the hall; 
It may be they have left some beer 

and pretzels, after all." 
"And fetch a ham," the lady said, 

"and get a loaf or so; 
I'd go with you, but oh my love, 

Fm far to weak to go." 




•"You'll find a meat-pie somewhere 
hid upon the pantry shelf; 

I knov/ it's there, because I went 
and hid that pie myself; 

And if you see some fat or brawn 
or pastry hid away 

Fetch it along — oh hurry, dear- 
it's fatal to delay." 




Then crept the faithful roommate 

down, and lit a lightwood knot 
And lugged up to the tower room 

the goodly spoils she got— 
Two hams, a game and mutton pie, 

a massive leg of veal; 
Nine loaves of bread, a bacon flitch 

left over from the meal, 
Six apple dumplings, large and fat, 

and half a peck of greens. 
A roasted haunch of venison, a 

bucketful of beans. 

And as they finished off the lunch 

the lady sighed full sore — 
Dear heart, go down and see if you 

can find a litde more 
We'll have to eat, because you 

know it is not meet or right 
A lady should show appetite in 

presence of a knight. 










milR AMBROSE RUE DE 
BAG A, he whose 
height was six feet three. 
Was built upon the Hnes no knight 

had any right to be. 
Below the waist his limbs were 
warped — in semicircles 
sprung, 
Perhaps from riding horseback 
when he was a squire, and 
young. 

It chanced one day Sir Ambrose 

sat upon a grassy mound 
And idly picked to nothingness a 

daisy that he found, 
When came a maiden down the 

road, and as she neared the 

knight 
He rose, because to sit before a 

maid was not polite. 

The maiden shrieked in mad af- 
fright and did a song and 
dance; 

She saw what seemed to her a pair 
of huge ice-tongs advance, 

And so astonished was the knight 



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his outspread knees did meet* 
And like a miracle of old, increased 
his height three feet. 



Whereat the maiden swooned away, 

and to her sorry plight 
Sir Ambrose left her, for he was 

a badly rattled knight. 
"Odspoons!" quoth he, "What ailed 

the chit? But I will let her be; 
Forsooth she was quite overcome 

by such a knight as me, 
My grandeur made her faint away; 

I must have touched her heart. 
And as I have a girl or so, I guess 

I*d best depart." 



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|RIM visaged was Sir 

Gadabout; his manner 

was of silk, 

But unkind friends were 

wont to say his face would 

sour milk. 

He kept his visor down always to 

hide his lantern jaws, 
And when he drank his Spanish 
wine he took the dope through 
straws. 



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Twas on a bridge he met his Fate 

— a lissome gentlemaid. 
She stood upon the rail and yelled, 

for she was sore afraid, 
While on the shore there pawed a 

bull — a brindled beast of sin 
Which feared to set foot on the 

bridge, lest he should bust it in. 




"Oh save me!" cried the maiden 

fair; "1 trust thy knightly oath. 
"Fear not," Sir Gadabout declaimed; 

"the world can't hold us both." 
He put his lance in rest and 

charged, and, proving he was 

game, 
The brindle bull took chances on 

the bridge, and did the same. 



They came together with a smash 

that echoed for a week, 
And, plunging through the broken 

bridge, the bull fell in the 

creek, 
But from his charger plunged the 

knight, the buffet was so sore; 
"Have you seen Kelly?** murmured 

he, and fainted on the floor. 




The maiden fluttered to his side 

and, weeping, bent above, 
Her heart, accustomed to such 

stunts, was brimming full of 

love. 
She gently raised his helmet-front, 

and with a piercing shriek, 
Leaped madly o'er the rail to where 

the bull pawed in the creek. 

And passing teamsters hauled the 
knight aside with bitter curse, 

For knights were scarce, and wagon 
wheels might damage this one 
worse; 

And on the planks the knight sat 
up and scratched his ringing 
ear 

"Dear me," he said, "from all the 
signs there's been some dis- 
cord here." 




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HE night was still at 
Castle W r u ff, and 
snoring loud and deep 
Some sixteen knights, all saddle- 
galled, lay heavily in sleep 
When on the postern came a 
knock. "What ho?" the 
warder said. 
**A weary minstrel" said a voice, 
"who fain would crave a bed.'* 



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With groans the warder shot the 

bolts with rusty, jarring din. 
And passing through the armored 

door the minstrel ambled in. 
"Good evening, sirs' he said. The 

knights each sat up in his 

bunk 
And wondered if he were awake, 

or if he still were drunk, 
For sitting by the blazing fire whose 

flames made shadows sharp 
The minstrel cleared his throat and 

tuned a battered six-foot 

harp. 

**Aw cut it out!" they cried as one; 
"we want no tuneful rhymes." 







The minstrel smiled and shook his 

head; 'twas custom o[ the 

times 
To play wherever he sat down, or 

try to, anyhow, 
And he could see no reason for a 

change of program now. 

His searching fingers found the 

strings; his voice rose to its 

height 
While sixteen bunks were torn 

apart, and from each rolled a 

knight, 
And sitting on the minstreFs form, 

they put it to a vote 
Which proved to be unanimous to 

drop him in the moat. 



"What was that splash?" the war- 
der asked. The knights 
swore low and deep. 

**That minstrel" one of them re- 
plied, "was walking in his 



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|IR Gumshoo, known as 
Wot dm a noble 
Knight from Spain 
Was one who was so strong a Pro 

he'd water on the brain. 
He would not drink a dram at all^ 

or even sniff at it, 
And just the sight of lager beer 
would throw him in a fit. 

It chanced one day Sir Gumshoo 
rode upon a noble quest — 

His lady had acquired a cold that 
setded on her chest, 

And to the rural districts he re- 
paired, for it was plain 

He must secure some goosegrease 
that she might get well again. 

He found a rude, bucolic rube who 

had goosegrease to sell; 
Sir Gumshoo bought about a quart 

and all was going well 
When he who rendered geese to 

grease made him a stealthy 

sign 
And led him to a bottle filled with 

elderberry wine. 



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The Knight declined; he was a 

Pro, which fact he did explain; 
The farmer, sore disgusted, took 

his goosegrease back again, 
Whereat the Knight in anguish 

sore gave up himself for lost 
And took a fierce and fiery drink 

with all his fingers crossed. 

That night he rode as rides a pig 

upon a circus steed; 
He clutched his charger Vound the 

neck, for he was stewed 

indeed. 
And, bowing to his lady fair, as 

bows the wind-tossed pine, 
He handed her part of a quart of 

elderberry wine. 




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T chanced that Mande- 
ville de Bunk, Sir 
Knight by Arthur's 
grace 
Stood with his polished shield be- 
fore his densely-whiskered 
face, 
And to his squire he made remark 

— "Now Algernon, I see 
Why every maid I run across must 
stop to look at me." 

"True, Sire" the loyal squire re- 
plied; "Ah, very, very true, 

IVe seen 'em look just that-a-way 
when visiting the Zoo/ 

"Bring forth my favors" quoth the 

knight; "The whole endurin* 

lot; 
IVe got to wear one of *em sure, I 

swear I don't know what. 
This mitt I got from fair Casein; 

this dinky picture card 
As I recall it, was a gift from lovely 

Hildegarde. 
But here's that shoe — consarn my 



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I wore this dust-pan at the joust at 

Castle Vonderhilt, 
And at the field of Rubberneck I 

wore this bloomin quilt, 
But where did I acquire this 

placque? Whence came this 

faded rose? 
And who in thunder gave me these 

— this pair of speckled hose? 

Oh well ril wear *em all at once — 
just tie on all you can; 

It's mighty tough, upon my oath, to 
be a ladies' man. 








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IIRBUGHAUS, famed in 

many lands for courtly, 

knightly deeds, 

Before whose might full 

many a knight found lances 

were but reeds, 

Rode on his way to Goose's Nest, 

a castle perched on high. 
When by the road a maiden fair 
fell on his eagle eye. 

The maiden sat perched in a tree; 

it was no time to laugh. 
For underneath in anger raved a 

frowsy litde calf, 
"Sir Knight," spake she; *Tm up 

a tree; oh help me down, 1 

pray, 

I do beseech thee in thy might to 
drive this brute away." 

Whereat the knight, in anger sore, 
dismounted from his steed 

And made toward the calf to aid 
the lady in her need. 

The calf turned tail, the knight 
took hold — or, properly, took 
holt. 

And as they whirled, ths critter's 
tail caught in an armor bolt, 



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When lo, before the maid's popped 

eyes, around the field there 

raced 
A blatting calf by yelping knight 

in clashing" armor chased. 
Around the field full twenty times 

the chased and chaser sped, 
But though the knight was close 

behind, the calf was just ahead. 

Then as a brand new lap began, 

the knight began to lag; 
The calf slowed up beneath the 

weight of such a cast-iron drag. 
And to the maid the knight roared 

forth, "Get down and be some 

use! 
Doggone it, can't you see Fm caught? 

Slide down and turn me loose!" 
But then the calf with sudden 

speed pulled loose and fled in 

rout, 
And, sitting down with mighty force, 

the knight jarred things about. 

And when he clambered to his 

feet, his faithful steed to find, 
He galloped on his knightly way, 

and didn't look behind, 
For though no knight in all his set 

e'er did a deed by halves, 
The code showed nothing — not a 

word, about knights chasing 

calves. 







T WAS a wintry win- 
ter's eve, when in his 
castle hall 
Sir Monkeyfayce sat at 
his meal, and on the panelled 
wall 
His harness hung, by loyal hands 

made free of rust and bright, 
For he was (oolish on such things, 
becoming in a knight. 

"Come hither, Rollo!" called the 

knight unto his faithful squire; 
By Merlin, it's your turn to put 

some wood upon the fire. 
My feet are cold, and by my sword, 

it is not fit or meet 
A knight should try to hold his 

job when he has freezing feet. 



"I mind me of one winter's day 

when 1 was sore beset 
By twenty false and faithless 

knights, and would be fighting 

yet 
Had not a thought flashed through 

my mind — a plan both wise 

and bold — 




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I poured some water on their feet 
and straightway made *em cold; 

And soon I held the field alone, 
the hero of the fight, 

Because cold feet are fatal to the 
valor of a knight. . 

He turned — his squire was not at 

hand, but in his place and stead 
A message scrawled upon the wall 

by frantic hand he read — 
"I've heard that yarn two hundred 

times; and I can't stand for it. 
Go tell it to another squire, and 

not to me — I've quit." 




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IR ARCHIBALD DE 
BLATHERSCOOP 

lay on his knightly bed; 
His tongue was like a scrubbing 

brush; his eyes were swelled 

and red; 
He*d celebrated something, sure; 

this fact he knew quite well. 
But what it was, or where, or when, 

he found it hard to tell. 

A bump sized like a croquet ball 
stuck out above his ear; 

His lower jaw swung to one side 
five inches in the clear; 

His nose was shifted out of line 
three inches to the right — 

"Great Grief!" Sir Archibald re- 
marked, "there must have 
been a fight!" 

His shield lay underneath the bed; 

his shirt of polished mail 
Was thrown into the washbowl and 

had soapsuds on the tail; 
His helmet on the gas jet hun^ 

red-hot from gas alight — 
"Great Arthur!" groaned the knight. 



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"Forsooth, it was a goodly 

fight!** 

Then came to him his trusty squire, 
a sad, disgruntled dub, 

And brought his morning toast, also 
some bromide in a tub. 

-Who did I kill?" the knight in- 
quired; "how many have I 
slain!" 

"Oh, rats!" the trusty squire re- 
plied, "you give a man a pain. 

"When you had drunk most every- 
thing within the alphabet, 

You took a stroll and tried to flirt 
— and with a suffragette; 

The doctors say you may be saved 
with proper dope and food. 

But you can hire another squire — 
Tm done with knights for 
good." 








T was a merry knight of 
old who ambled down 
the road; 
The spirit of his joy 
made glad the charger 
he bestrode; 
His trusty squire lagged far behind 
— he would not take a chance 
Of being close enough to have his 

slats pushed with a lance; 
For as he rode the knight was gay; 

who could be otherwise 
When he is framing up a verse 
about his lady's eyes? 

The verse was working very well 
beneath his helmet barred; 

No ragged lines flowed from his 
brain; no wordy discords 
jarred 

Until at length he struck a snag 
that left him in the air — 

The lady's name! Odds rats for- 
sooth! It stuck out lonely 
there. 

Her name was Metempyschosis; 

the Muse was laid out flat, 
For who could ever find a word to 

rhyme with one like that? 
So on the knight in savage mood 

rode, bitter with the blame 
Of those who tacked that on a maid 

to answer for a name. 






yvn^ 



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OMETIMES there's a 
longing comes to me to 
ride on a border foray; 
To live with my distant 
ancestors in some cas- 
tle, ancient and gray; 
To glow with the gladness of con- 
flict; to battle with armor-clad 
men, 
But ever I thrust the dream from 
me — I weigh just one hun- 
dred and ten. 



The armor they wore wouldn't fit 

me, and had I 

afraid 
I couldn t have gone to a dealer and 

purchased a suit ready-made. 
For those I have seen at museums 

where relics and curios are 
Would fit me about as is fitted a 

pea in a three gallon jar. 



I'd like a great blade with cross- 
handle, but, lifting one over 
my head, 

I've felt I would choose for a weapon 
a thirty-pound crowbar in- 
stead. 

For times and the people are chang- 
ing; we're not quite as husky 
as then. 

But stil! Tm no weakling, remem- 
ber, for I weigh one hundred 
and ten. 





■^i 



\ me'^^ 





Y love" quoth Lady Ban- 
doline, Sir Ketchan- 
killum s bride, 
"From you I have no secrets, love; 

no evil thoughts I hide; 
And to you I would like to say 
what you perchance, may 
guess^ — 
You'll have to stop this chasing 
'round for maidens in distress. 

When you were not a married 

man, no doubt it had to be, 
But stunts like that Fll have you 

know, won't ever go with me; 
You'll have to learn to stay at home 

and help me boil the kraut, 
And as (or maidens in distress, 

you'll have to cut 'em out." 

The Knight sighed deep. "But 

what" quoth he, "about my 

knightly oath?" 
"Not much you don't " the lady said; 

"you did'nt swear for both. 
You swore it as a single man — 

now get thee over there 



lr:(o-0!if" y 



And shell those peas and wipe the 

forks and those potatoes pare. 
I'm running things, Til have you 

know, and running em just 

right; 
You need'nt think you'll loaf about 

because you are a Knight." 




The Knight uncrossed his steel- 
clad legs and scratched his 
burning ear. 

"Oh what a wife I have" he said; 
"you're always right my dear 




HCV 6 i^i'. 



One copy del. to Cat. Div. 

NOV ■" '''''. ^ 



NOV 



iiiiiiilt 

015 940 735 ** ^ 



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